Flushed with pride

Ive been thinking about this curious thing since the wedding the other day...The bride and groom were booked into the Royal Suite at the hotel, where the bridal party got into their fancy clothes and the makeup lady did her magic. I noticed a plaque on the wall with photographs of Queen Elizabeth and her prince, commemorating their stay in these very rooms a few years ago. Oh my, I thought out loud, Ive just been sitting on the same loo that the queens bum has perched upon... gives a whole new meaning to "sitting on the throne'. Well, I was corrected by one of the guests in the know, apparently its correct form for each hotel on the royal itinerary to provide a brand spanking new toilet seat never before sat upon. And after they leave it's destroyed, no doubt with some sort of serious pomp and ceremony, so if you see one on ebay with a claim to royal rump affiliation, its a fake.

Imagine this , in eighty years of state visits all over the world how many perfectly good high end barely used toilet seats have met their demise in incinerators contributing untold toxins and global warming gases to the environment, just for the sake of her dignified derrierre! Really, who does she think she is? Well Her Royal Haughtiness of course, who doesnt give a flying fanny for the foolish waste of taxpayers money or the affront to millions of poor sods worldwide who dont have so much as a pot to pee in.

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
- Frank Zappa